come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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