you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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