I need help removing her.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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