no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize