somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
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I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
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No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You were trust falling into bushes
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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