I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
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i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
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