I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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