he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize