I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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