Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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