shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
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Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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