I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She bit a glass in half.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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