If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
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Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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