Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize