It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
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