i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize