You made me cry and you don't even care
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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