i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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