You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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