So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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