I can tuck mytits in my pants
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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