i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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