he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
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Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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