if only i could text you this smell
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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