i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Randomize