I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize