I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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