covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
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We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
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All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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