I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
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i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
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Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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