someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize