You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize