Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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