the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i think i have herpe
just one?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize