So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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