i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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