I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize