Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize