she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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