covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
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By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
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The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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