Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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