This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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