the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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