You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize