This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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