Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.

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(210): View more from Texas

he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well

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(863): View more from Florida

I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas

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(330): View more from Ohio

im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively

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(417): View more from Missouri

We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird

(573): View more from Missouri

He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid

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