i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
