who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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