another moral hangover. fuck.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize