Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
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Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
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Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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