I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize