PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize