Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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