So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
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She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
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Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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